A Vow of Independence
As we celebrate Independence Day here in the United States, I find my thoughts once again dwelling on the concepts of freedom and independence. And through a series of connections, I came to this: Debbie Ford’s powerful Vow of Independence.
“When you have emotional independence, you want for nothing because you have everything.” – Debbie Ford
So, as Debbie shares, today is the day to join me and millions of others in taking a vow of emotional independence. Emotional independence will give you the freedom to love and be loved, to give freely and to receive abundantly, to expand rather than contract, to move forward rather than stay stuck, to live in joy rather than misery, to be in control rather than to be controlled, and to be nourished by faith rather than diminished by fear.
I encourage you to take the vow now.
The Vow of Emotional Independence
This vow’s proclamation says I, ______________, will no longer be bound by the slavery of my past.
I will never again give my power away to some food, substance or disempowering craving.
I will stop allowing others to define who I am and I will stand for my highest expression.
I will stop trying to please others and instead please myself.
I will stop listening to the voice of my critical internal mother and father and I will listen to the voice of my most supportive and loving self.
I will break free from the strangulating grip of my self-defeating behaviors and choose powerfully each and every moment to make choices that leave me feeling great about myself and my life.
I take this vow NOW as a positive stand for my soul’s highest expression and for every man, woman, and child on this planet today.
As I set myself free, I am freeing all others from the violence of my darkest thoughts and my negative projections.
And now, as I close my eyes, I ask all the powers that be to support me in living this vow each and every moment of each and every day.
And it shall be.
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Debbie Ford’s life’s work has been to support others in freeing themselves from the grips of their limited self. And today, as we approach Independence Day in America Ishe is proud to share her film with you that is already freeing people from the bonds of their past and changing the lives of others around the world.
The Shadow Effect guarantees that you take a quantum leap toward emotional freedom. Without this priceless information and without understanding the mechanism of your humanity you will forever stay trapped inside the confines of your limited egoic self.
As she stands for your emotional independence today, she invites you to take this profound step into your light, with love and respect.
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I am blessed to include Rochelle Schwartz, Master Certified Integrative Coach, from the Ford Institute, among the amazing women who are a part of the Wise Well Women Inner Circle. If you would like to further explore the work of Debbie Ford, as I have, through the guidance of this compassionate woman, please reach out to connect to Rochelle at coachrochelle@rochelleschwartz.com.
To hear the Wise Well Women’s Expert Series Conversation with Rochelle, entitled “You Can Use Your Divorce as a Catalyst for Healing Your Heart” click here.
Building Courage so I can be Brave Enough to Push to the Other Side of Fear
Today I received this great article in my inbox, from Christine Kane, publisher of “LiveCreative” ezine, musician and creativity consultant. I just had to share it.
I’d been avoiding writing a post for a little while, because every time I sat down to write, all I could think about was FEAR. You’ve heard me talk about my fears a lot…too much lately, I think.
And you’ve been introduced to my pal, “Fearsome Freddie”, so that’s old news…
But courage…courage is a concept that I haven’t talked or written much about. And yet, developing courage has been so much a part of my personal growth and spiritual development.
I have been empowered to develop “the courage to change the things I can” as one of the pillars of my self-improvement inspiration.
This article made me smile. I hope it will do the same for you.
Please comment below, and let me know which one/s of the 52 ways you’re going to try.
52 Ways to Build Your Courage
by Christine Kane
“Excellence comes about as a result of habit. We become just by doing just acts, temperate by doing temperate acts, brave by doing brave acts.” – Aristotle
Courage is a muscle. Just as you wouldn’t go into the gym for the first time and lift a 100-pound dumbbell – you don’t have to begin building courage by running for President.
People often think that courage has to be big. Like sky-diving. Or giving a speech to a stadium.
Those things do require courage, yes. But in some ways, that’s baby courage. It’s obvious courage. I call it Bungee-Jumping Courage.
Bungee-Jumping Courage is convenient because it lets us define ourselves as “not courageous.” When you set the stakes that high, then you never have to approach it. You simply get to say, “Hmm, I must not have courage.”
I’m not letting you get off that easy.
Why?
Because there’s a deeper level of courage. It makes you strong. It makes you fall in love with yourself. It makes you fall in love with your life.
At its core, courage is about strengthening your relationship with yourself.
Here are 52 ways – little and big – to build your courage. Some of them seem completely foolish. But they’re not. They’re just uncomfortable. And that’s the whole point! Success in life is directly related to how uncomfortable you’re willing get. Now, get uncomfortable and go be courageous!
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1 – Paint your nails green. (Guys get extra credit for this one!)
2 – Begin to live your life as an “experiment.”
3 – If you’re always spontaneous, plan something in advance and stick with it. If you’re a meticulous planner, do something spontaneous.
4 – Quit your job.
5 – Start a blog.
6 – Take a drawing class.
7 – Learn a new language.
8 – Begin yoga.
9 – Do something tourist-y in your own town.
10 – Get up in the morning after having a bad day yesterday. Encourage yourself to begin again.
11 – Give money away.
12 – Look into people’s eyes when you’re in public – on the street, buying groceries, etc.
13 – Hire someone to do a regular task you can’t stand doing. (i.e., mowing the lawn.)
14 – Play music more. Watch TV less.
15 – Get rid of everything in your home that’s not an Absolute Yes.
16 – Put on a goofy smile and look at other drivers when you stop at lights.
17 – Go vegan.
18 – If you never host parties or dinners – invite friends over for dinner.
19 – Teach a workshop.
20 – Start a mastermind group.
21 – Be bad at something. Do it anyway.
22 – Make requests. Don’t complain.
23 – Join a writer’s group.
24 – Hire a life coach.
25 – In social situations, allow people to talk with you instead of running around the room “networking.”
26 – Worry less. Act more.
27 – Enter a writing contest.
28 – Start your own business.
29 – Ask someone out on a date.
30 – Make a business card for yourself.
31 – Eat at an ethnic restaurant you’ve never considered.
32 – Respond. Don’t react.
33 – Get some music from another culture. Sit down and really listen.
34 – Listen more. Talk less. Especially to your kids.
35 – Take a swing dance class.
36 – Hire a physical trainer.
37 – Start a book club.
38 – Test-drive a luxury car.
39 – End a relationship that drains you or hurts you.
40 – Pray.
41 – Quit smoking.
42 – Take different routes to work each day.
43 – Drive around and get lost on purpose.
44 – Wake up at 5am and write.
45 – Assumptions are the enemy of success. Question them often.
46 – Excuses are the enemy of action. Stop making them.
47 – Admit when you are wrong.
48 – Write a fan letter to someone who’s not famous – a teacher, a grocery store clerk – anyone who delights you or touches you.
49 – Pick one incomplete in your life. (A cluttered garage, for instance.) Tackle it for 15 minutes a day.
50 – Do an open-mic night.
51 – Pay the toll of the person behind you.
52 – Run for President.
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Performer, songwriter, and creativity consultant Christine Kane publishes her ‘LiveCreative’ weekly ezine with more than 11,000 subscribers. If you want to be the artist of your life and create authentic and lasting success, you can sign up for a FRE*E subscription to LiveCreative at http://www.christinekane.com/.
The Return of Daisy Distraction. Quick Tips for Getting Back on Track.
It doesn’t take long for my old friend Daisy Distraction to return to block my forward progress and keep me from my ultimate productivity.
Boy, does she have a way of cropping up just when I least expect her!
So, how do I keep her away? Or better yet, how do I send her off to “play” somewhere else so I can get back on track?
First things first…I have to recognize I’m being distracted before I can do anything differently. So awareness is key.
And the tell tale signs are really obvious.
1. I sit down at my desk and immediately check my emails, and then 2 hours later I find I’ve explored a dozen new thoughts/ideas. Or, I’ve taken 1 hour to just clean up my InBox when I didn’t intend to today.
2. Social media just sucked up another 2 hours with random old friend searches, event invites, and twitter list exploring.
3. I skipped lunch, seemingly too busy to get up from my desk, and I’ve got a serious coffee buzz.
4. I am dragging up “to-do’s” that came off my priority list days/weeks ago and just fumbling around.
5. I get to the end of the day, having spent far too many hours at the computer, I can’t remember what I intended to accomplish today, and I just feel “foggy”.
Now what? I’ve just lost a day, sometimes more…and in addition to being behind on my projects, I’m frustrated with myself, too!
So, I give thanks for the awareness that makes it possible for me to see this pattern for what it is, and I commit to getting some rest, and making the next day full of focus and effortless efficiency.
It all begins with setting the intention.
I rise committed to fending off the nudges from “Daisy” by using the tools I have come to know so well.
1. I begin my day stretching, affirmative reading and 15 minutes (minimum) or 3-5 pages of journaling. I eat a healthy breakfast. Journaling helps me find clarity around my intentions, my visions, my dreams. Through journaling I identify and prioritize inspired actions.
2. I take an extra minute to straighten up my work area, to eliminate anything that might draw my attention away from my priority tasks. Depending on the task, I may setup soothing music to work by.
3. I ask myself two questions: what is the most important thing I can do today to create the life of my dreams? and what is the most important thing I can do today to grow my business?
Then I write the answers down on my NothingElse.pad (if I get nothing else done to day, I must…from www.getbuttonedup.com). Then I begin to take action on those items immediately, keeping in mind my 30 day plan.
3. I continue to make progress on those items identified as the most important for today BEFORE I open my email for the day.
4. I commit to allocating a specific amount of time for social media, once in the morning and once in the afternoon.
5. I take an appropriate break for morning snack and lunch.
6. I check in with myself, honestly, at midday and make adjustments as needed. If and when I catch myself running off to “play” with Daisy, I immediately stop, get up, and walk away from my office. If I can, I step outside, to get some fresh air to help me re-focus. Take a short wisdom walk. Moving always helps– dancing, wiggling, walking, running.
Once I have settled back into a productive pattern I make a point to try to check in with myself. To stay on track, this is the most important piece.
I’ve come to know that Daisy Distraction only comes to see me when I want to play. And typically, I choose to play with her when I’m having trouble finding the courage to face my fears about something.
There is wisdom hiding there behind all that distraction, if I allow myself to see it. Getting clear about what those fears are and working through them, not around them, is the ultimate goal.
Acknowledging Daisy makes me laugh, and helps me to accept my human nature. Sending her on her way makes me feel brave.
How do you fight the tendency toward distraction? What are your favorite re-focusing tips?
I can’t wait to hear them– I need all the help I can get!
Meet Daisy Distraction. Creating Characters for Self Growth.
Why is it that when I get these HUGE bursts of creative energy I am so easily pulled away from finishing the task?
Just when I’ve got the plan laid out, the design outlined, all the pieces in place, I’m drifting off to other unimportant things.
Meet “Daisy Distraction”!
I’ve written about my friend “Fearsome Freddie” before. Freddie is my FEAR gremlin. Whenever I get paralyzed by fear, visualizing the cartoon character I created helps me realize how silly most of my fears really are. He’s become part of my tools for success.
Well, Freddie has a pal now, and her name is Daisy Distraction. Now I’m sending Daisy off to play with Freddie so she will leave me alone!
The good news is, I’m getting better and better at short circuiting my old self-sabotaging patterns and if creating and “playing” with these characters is what it takes, so be it!
Of course, I just wasted a few days of my precious time following Daisy and playing my favorite game of information gathering.
Translated in self growth language that means when I started to doubt myself (and that flurry of creative energy I had earlier in the week) I went looking for validation outside of myself.
I didn’t trust that what I was creating was good enough. So I went on a comparison binge!
And I got lost, literally for days, in the millions of resources available on the internet.
YUK!
The good news is, I met Daisy along the way. And now I can send her into that abyss instead of me. And I’m back on track to finish creating the “12 Baby Steps” self-coaching program.
Watch for that coming soon, OK? The outline and quick tips are already available as a free download on my site. So, if you don’t see the finished program in 30 days, call me on it, please!
So what are you’re favorite distraction techniques?
How many different ones do you think we can come up with? Share them with me in the comments below.
And, “Daisy” doesn’t have a face on paper yet. What do you think she should look like?
Tell me, please, what do you expect from a coach?
A few weeks ago I began the first in a series of courses I am taking on my quest
to become a Certified Creativity Coach through the Creativity Coaching Association.
Each week we are asked thought provoking questions and required to post our responses
for the group to see.
This week, as I wrote my response, I realized that I was speaking from a perspective that
was entirely my own, assuming that my prospective clients would see things as I do.
As this realization became clearer, that I was envisioning a client’s desired coaching
outcomes as identical to mine, I found myself asking the question:
How do I know what people expect from coaching?
Certainly, I know what I expect from my coaches.
But what do other people want from a coach?
To be the best I can be, I feel the need to know.
So, I’m asking…what do YOU expect from a coach?
Please share your thoughts, leave a comment below, so we can all grow.
Or join the Discussion on my Facebook Fan Page at http://www.facebook.com/WiseWellWomen
I wish you well -
Nanette
P.S. I encourage you to explore the idea that as you record your expectations
for a coach, that these same support systems can easily become part of a
simple self-coaching model, too.
You already have everything you need inside.
Sometimes all you need is someone to help you see it.
