Simple Steps to Finding Peace
Today I was reminded of a poem that has hung prominently in every home I’ve ever lived in…”Desiderata”. Reading it reminds me to honor and respect all humankind, my God, Mother Earth and most importantly, myself, and I know I have found peace.
What I love most about this poem, is that at different times in my life, different passages have spoken to me in a way that has brought me great comfort.
When my life was particularly chaotic, I clung to the words, “Go placidly amid the noise and the haste…”, and “in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul.”
When I’ve been afraid, I’ve been reminded, “Do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.”
When I question my worthiness, when I wonder out-loud “Am I good enough?”, I simply turn to this print and affirm, “You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.”
When my world fell apart, and my faith was wavering, I read “And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.” and once again I could “be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.”
And I when I most needed to believe that I would be OK, I found hope in the words “With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.”
And slowly, one step at a time, I found peace.
So I share the full poem here with you, in the hope that you, too, will find peace in this writing by Max Ehrmann. And maybe, you’ll print it out and place it somewhere in your space so you can be reminded, as I am, of the awesome power of these words.
Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
– written by Max Ehrmann in the 1920s —
A Vow of Independence
As we celebrate Independence Day here in the United States, I find my thoughts once again dwelling on the concepts of freedom and independence. And through a series of connections, I came to this: Debbie Ford’s powerful Vow of Independence.
“When you have emotional independence, you want for nothing because you have everything.” – Debbie Ford
So, as Debbie shares, today is the day to join me and millions of others in taking a vow of emotional independence. Emotional independence will give you the freedom to love and be loved, to give freely and to receive abundantly, to expand rather than contract, to move forward rather than stay stuck, to live in joy rather than misery, to be in control rather than to be controlled, and to be nourished by faith rather than diminished by fear.
I encourage you to take the vow now.
The Vow of Emotional Independence
This vow’s proclamation says I, ______________, will no longer be bound by the slavery of my past.
I will never again give my power away to some food, substance or disempowering craving.
I will stop allowing others to define who I am and I will stand for my highest expression.
I will stop trying to please others and instead please myself.
I will stop listening to the voice of my critical internal mother and father and I will listen to the voice of my most supportive and loving self.
I will break free from the strangulating grip of my self-defeating behaviors and choose powerfully each and every moment to make choices that leave me feeling great about myself and my life.
I take this vow NOW as a positive stand for my soul’s highest expression and for every man, woman, and child on this planet today.
As I set myself free, I am freeing all others from the violence of my darkest thoughts and my negative projections.
And now, as I close my eyes, I ask all the powers that be to support me in living this vow each and every moment of each and every day.
And it shall be.
***
Debbie Ford’s life’s work has been to support others in freeing themselves from the grips of their limited self. And today, as we approach Independence Day in America Ishe is proud to share her film with you that is already freeing people from the bonds of their past and changing the lives of others around the world.
The Shadow Effect guarantees that you take a quantum leap toward emotional freedom. Without this priceless information and without understanding the mechanism of your humanity you will forever stay trapped inside the confines of your limited egoic self.
As she stands for your emotional independence today, she invites you to take this profound step into your light, with love and respect.
***
I am blessed to include Rochelle Schwartz, Master Certified Integrative Coach, from the Ford Institute, among the amazing women who are a part of the Wise Well Women Inner Circle. If you would like to further explore the work of Debbie Ford, as I have, through the guidance of this compassionate woman, please reach out to connect to Rochelle at coachrochelle@rochelleschwartz.com.
To hear the Wise Well Women’s Expert Series Conversation with Rochelle, entitled “You Can Use Your Divorce as a Catalyst for Healing Your Heart” click here.
Meet Daisy Distraction. Creating Characters for Self Growth.
Why is it that when I get these HUGE bursts of creative energy I am so easily pulled away from finishing the task?
Just when I’ve got the plan laid out, the design outlined, all the pieces in place, I’m drifting off to other unimportant things.
Meet “Daisy Distraction”!
I’ve written about my friend “Fearsome Freddie” before. Freddie is my FEAR gremlin. Whenever I get paralyzed by fear, visualizing the cartoon character I created helps me realize how silly most of my fears really are. He’s become part of my tools for success.
Well, Freddie has a pal now, and her name is Daisy Distraction. Now I’m sending Daisy off to play with Freddie so she will leave me alone!
The good news is, I’m getting better and better at short circuiting my old self-sabotaging patterns and if creating and “playing” with these characters is what it takes, so be it!
Of course, I just wasted a few days of my precious time following Daisy and playing my favorite game of information gathering.
Translated in self growth language that means when I started to doubt myself (and that flurry of creative energy I had earlier in the week) I went looking for validation outside of myself.
I didn’t trust that what I was creating was good enough. So I went on a comparison binge!
And I got lost, literally for days, in the millions of resources available on the internet.
YUK!
The good news is, I met Daisy along the way. And now I can send her into that abyss instead of me. And I’m back on track to finish creating the “12 Baby Steps” self-coaching program.
Watch for that coming soon, OK? The outline and quick tips are already available as a free download on my site. So, if you don’t see the finished program in 30 days, call me on it, please!
So what are you’re favorite distraction techniques?
How many different ones do you think we can come up with? Share them with me in the comments below.
And, “Daisy” doesn’t have a face on paper yet. What do you think she should look like?
How Can I…?
Funny how the universe works…when I’m paying attention, listening and opening myself up to the messages and lessons I’m meant to hear.
Even if it is over and over again!
You see, even though I’ve spent many years making personal development a priority in my life and I’ve developed a self-care practice that I know keeps me grounded, AND supports me to live a life I love, I have to admit that sometimes I allow myself to wallow in my old bad habits and tune into noise and distraction rather than to inspiration.
Negative messaging has been a part of my life forever.
I have fun saying that it is “hard coded in my DNA”, and that’s not just an expression of mine, I believe it to be true.
Some patterns die hard… and my personal replay button is stuck when it comes to negative messaging.
What do I mean, negative messaging?
I mean that wallow around in the muck s%#t that drags me down. I mean that “I’m having a lousy day” stuff that sounds like:
It’s too hard
I can’t figure this out
Life sucks
No one will help me
I’ll never make it
I just can’t
I’d do it but…
If only I had…then…
I”ll never get there
It’s just not right
But it’s not exactly the way I wanted it
They don’t care anyway
I’m too ___________!
It’s all because of _______________.
I GIVE UP!
Maybe I’m not saying “I’m not good enough” verbatum, but these messages have just as much stopping power as any other. And stop me they do!
And before I know it, I’m sinking in the quicksand of stuck-ness!
Sinking…sinking…sinking…
Then, almost miraculously, the hand of universal energy reaches out for me, extending a life line that I grab to pull myself out. And this week, the lifeline looked like this:
Living Your Truth, w/ Elizabeth Potts Weinstein
For the past few weeks I’ve been part of a group program called “Live Your Truth”. I joined the group because I feel a real connection. I’m reminded that I founded Wise Well Women based on the tenet of living authentically, speaking my voice, and encouraging others to do the same. So, through this program I practice defining and declaring “my truth” each day.
My truth is I am a coach. Specifically, I am a Creativity Coach, and as such I help women entrepreneurs with every aspect of their creative life and business.
Even if I’m not comfortable with the word, coach, it is who I am. Before I even knew the term, mentoring and supporting others was a key part of my personal and management style. It is what I’ve always done. When I worked for someone else we just called it something different. But the deliverables were the same.
Last week I posed a question on my FaceBook Fan page: (on the discussions page)
What do you expect from a coach?
And one of the responses was to “call me on my S#@T!” Boy, did that resonate with me that day!
Obviously, I was deep in the muck then, and just not quite ready to come out.
Then yesterday I pulled out a CD from a business growth coaching program I’d completed last Fall,
EnergyRich Business Boot Camp, and Marketing Mastery with Heather Dominick.
I popped that CD into the player in my car and heard Heather say, (as if she were speaking to me and me alone):
Ask yourself the question, “How Can I…?”
Activate the energy of creating possibilities, not limitations, she said. The message was exactly what I needed to hear. She was absolutely “calling me on my S#@T!”
How can I? How can I use what I have in place, this moment, to step up and do what I know I have to do to be successful?
If I’m stepping up, as I declared I was doing at the beginning of 2010, then I’ve got to take inspired action. No whining and wallowing allowed!
When I’m Living My Truth, I’ve declared I’m stepping up, and I’m deliberately working my self-care routines that I have developed to support me.
When I’m self-coaching, I’m calling myself on my S#@T! And, I stop wallowing around in the muck of stuck.
When I’m effectively managing and marketing my business, I’m asking myself “How Can I?” and taking inspired action to get things done!
Wow! Boy does that feel good-like the weight of the world was just lifted off my shoulders…
Does this mean I’ll never sink into the muck of stuck-ness again?
Certainly not. (Remember, it’s hard coded in my DNA 
)
But what it does mean is that I have affirmed once again, that I have everything I need to pull myself out when it does happen (and you can, too!)
So, ask yourself today…do you have the self development tools in place to support you? If so, do you use them regularly? What kind of support could you use to help avoid wallowing around in that quicksand of stuck-ness forever?
Share your thoughts with me here in the comments section below. Don’t be afraid to reach out.
Your lifeline is ready!
In the spirit of wisdom, wellness and prosperity-
I wish you well-
Nanette
P.S. My biggest breakthroughs toward Living My Truth came when I found my voice. This blog is the evolution of my truth, which began as a simple journal. Sandy Grason, author of Journalution, gently encouraged me to rediscover my identity and my power on the pages of my journal in the early days of my healing. Without her support I never would have had the courage to make my thoughts public on this blog.
Open up your journal and write something in it today. And then do it again tomorrow. And the next day. And the next…
I promise you, amazing things will happen.
P.P.S. - Heather Dominick is starting another EnergyRich Business BootCamp in April, and she’s introducing the program on a f.r.e.e. teleclass March 16th. Don’t worry, this won’t be one of those waste of time, she’s just selling her program, teleclass events. You will come away with some amazing new insights into how to manage your energy to grow your business.
Taking Simple Steps to Improve Your Self-Care
A week ago I began to jot down a list of the “must do” things I consider to be part of my necessary practice of self-care. I quickly came up with 10 items. And as I looked at the list, I immediately asked myself the question, “If I had to pick one of those things to do for myself that I couldn’t live without, which one would it be?”
That’s a really tough question for me. They are all so important to helping me stay physically and emotionally well that I don’t think I could live without any of them.
Certainly, though, when I get really honest with myself, I am more focused and disciplined in some areas than I am in others.
And as I allowed my thoughts to wander, I was drawn to the question “if I polled varying groups of women, how would they rate these items in level of importance to them?”. That was followed by, “could I discover the 5 Most Important Self-Care Practices?”.
So I gathered up my list, and sent it out to a few women as a test, and I was surprised that I didn’t get any stand out answers. Every woman said something different! The best part is that what they did say is that the simple act of thinking about their self-care practices made them realize they needed to shift some energy in that direction.
And better yet, one woman rated her list with what she wanted her priorities to be, and what she thought they currently were and wrote in that she was surprised and enlightened by seeing her gaps on paper.
So, if you want to give it a try, I’ve included the list below. Rate each item with the number 1 – 10, with each item receiving a unique value, and 1 being the most important to you, and 10 being the least. Don’t use any number more than once.
Meditation/Prayer
Journalling/Scripting
Exercise
Eating Well
Affirmative Reading
Group Support
Mentor/Coach Support
Resting/Sleeping Well
Maintaining a nurturing environment
Participating in a creative process (painting, singing, writing, cooking)
Feel free to add your own if I missed something.
Honestly, are you giving your priority items your full attention? Are you truly practicing self-care? I know the past two weeks I have not been — and boy, do I feel it. And though I generally do a good job of staying on track with my journaling, affirmative reading and group and coach support, I still have not found my rhythym with eating well and exercising consistently. Writing up this little exercise made it obvious to me that I need to direct some energy to those areas.
What practices are the most important to you? Please share your thoughts with me. Post a comment on this blog, or comment on my Facebook page at http://companies.to/wisewellwomen. I’ll be compiling and share the total results here, too.
So, today I commit to making exercise and eating well an integral part of my self-care practice. I’m not sure yet what that’s going to look like or how I’m going to do it, but I know I’ll get there.
Will you join me?
