Have you ever been paralyzed by fear?
I sure have. It used to happen all the time. Now, I process life changes and choices so much differently, transforming my fears into positive energy and stopping the paralysis that kept me stuck.
I’ve learned how to use my fear as a marker of stepping up in my life. If I’m not afraid, then I am probably not growing.
Over the past few years, I’ve written a lot about transforming fear into positive energy. One of those posts was inspired by a project that had me paralyzed for quite a while. The truth of that story remains so powerful that I decided to share it again, with a few edits that reflect my personal transformation.
Here we go! How can you turn fear into positive energy?
On that day, I was saying to myself “Take a deep breath…and slowly let it out”. I was practicing trying to release all my fear with my breath. I kept saying to myself, “let it go, everything will be OK.”
The jitters were still there.
But this time, it wasn’t paralyzing fear I felt. It was an energy of excitement, and knowing that I was moving ahead, stepping up and taking a giant leap forward in my business.
Wow! and Whew! That was big.
Writing this would have been impossible for me not so long ago.
Fear would have stopped me. Declaring publicly that I was taking on something that scared me to death was off-limits.
So, what is this thing I was doing that was so scary?
Here’s the funny part…to many people it wasn’t not a big deal. For me, taking on this project was a symbol of everything to come. I was ready to shift to a new way of being.
On that day, I was changing servers for my websites. That change symbolized the transformation I was experiencing in my personal and professional development.
Everything was evolving quickly.
Changing servers meant everything had to change. And, my fears about that change were stopping me from moving forward. Email, hosting, dashboards, plugins, and an endless list of other things were likely to be impacted. If I didn’t keep up with the transformations then I’d be stuck forever.
Still, my fear told me something might break. In fact, it was pretty likely something might break and that’s what had been holding me back.
Now, I’m learning to accept the fact that something might break.
That’s life. S*&T happens.
I know I’ll be OK. And so will you, my dear readers.
The amazing thing is that this shift in feeling, this shift in thinking, isn’t really about confidence in my ability to survive anything. It isn’t really about trying to tell myself never to be afraid. It isn’t really about always staying calm and peaceful. The new feeling becomes excitement because I can see that I’m growing. And, it’s OK to be a little frightened by things I don’t know.
Growth can be scary and energizing.
For me, the shift in thinking is all about stopping my mind from creating problems that don’t exist yet. That old pattern was the thing that paralyzed me.
You see, in the past, I was very good at creating all kinds of scenarios for the worst that could happen, no matter what. Whenever I was presented with a choice, or a reason to change, or an opportunity to step up, I had to tell myself, and everyone around me, all the reasons why and how something could go wrong.
Automatically, a little voice in my head would begin to play out horrible outcomes and really scary results. all kinds of fear-based stories. I’d spend so much time and energy working through fear-based stories in my head that I couldn’t take any action, stopped by the distraction of preparing for every single negative possibility. In my mind, I automatically turned the reality of unknown results into catastrophic potential for massive failure.
It was exhausting!
No wonder I couldn’t take any action. No wonder I wouldn’t step up.
If the only outcomes my mind could create were fear-based, no wonder I would take forever to decide to shift to something new.
And months would go by…even years…where I would stay stuck, working with a tool that really wasn’t serving me, because I could only see the unknown as negative and I was paralyzed by fear.
Sure it’s a hassle if something goes wrong. Sure, it’s inconvenient.
But seriously, is changing my website server life-threatening?
What’s the worst that can happen?
I’ll never forget my first one-on-one life coach. She pointedly asked me that exact question more than 10 years ago. I am forever grateful to her. She changed my life by encouraging me to shift my energy.
“What’s the worst that can happen?”, she asked me.
In an instant she challenged me and empowered me. She gently invited me to see that the stories in my head weren’t reality and to speak the truth out loud.
So, regarding my website changes, I might go without email for a day or two. Or worse, I lose a few emails. OMG! Or my site might crash … and then what?
We’d restore it. Yes, it would have been a huge challenge if any of that happened. But, if I didn’t take any action, I’d continue to stay stuck. That’s a fact. There is an action that can be taken even after my worst fears materialize. And yes, I could muster up the courage to go on.
Using this powerful question not only sheds some light on whether or not your fears are reality or fiction, it also leads you to solutions.
Following up with question #2 – “And then what?” points you toward understanding and accepting what you can and can’t control. And, in acceptance you will find peace, even when the answer to “What’s the worst that could happen?” is actually life-changing.
The reality is, in my story I was allowing my fear to stop me from moving forward. My fears gave me an excuse to hide. As long as computer challenges existed, I had a crutch — an excuse for not posting more blogs, or taking action to drive traffic to my site, or any number of other things that would have exposed me and my message to more people. I could blame my lack of results on my server — and stay comfortable with what I knew.
Truth be told, I had backups for everything. I was prepared. I’d made my checklist. I’d been wrestling with this decision for a while.
So, here are my final thoughts on shifting your fears from paralyzed to energized…
I have finally gotten to a place where I can allow my fear to work for me instead of against me, and use that energy to create a deliberate process for the change.
In my story today, I was ready to go. I had a great helper (someone who knows this stuff SO much better than I did).
So, rather than pacing frantically, ready to call off the switch, terrorizing myself with the catastrophes made up in my head, I was giddy with the excitement of finally making this move.
I knew this would make many of my processes so much easier.
And, if there were a few wrinkles along the way, so what!
Staying stuck in my fear paralysis was no longer serving me.
In that moment I was choosing to behave differently. I was facing my fears, choosing to transform them and using them as energy to imagine the possibility of great things to come.
And so it was and so it is. And, all is well in my world,
P.S. Remember, eliminating the paralysis caused by fear happens one baby step at a time. Be gentle with yourself. You are learning, growing, and shifting each and every day. I’m here for you. Reach out to schedule a complimentary Quiet the Noise Clarity Coaching Session with me using this link: http://createmoreclarity.com
P.P.S. Special note: I have also learned that focusing all my energy on playing out all the scary outcomes actually manifests those scary outcomes! What you think about becomes your reality. Really. Read more about Visioning here: Why Make Time for Vision Boards?
Congratulations on moving forward. It is amazing how much energy is spent on fear. But, look how liberating it is to just let go. I wish you much success in your journey of change and growth.
In light, Charlene
Thank you, Charlene, for your support and encouragement. Yes, letting go is sooooooooooooooooo liberating! Yippee!