In the week that I was preparing for my very first newsletter, I was inspired by my mastermind group, hearing in the voices of some of my group members the same anxious and stressed tone that had become such a familiar pattern.
I am a recovering “stress and adrenaline junkie”.
Here’s what I know for sure… (if Oprah were to ever ask me!):
That my energy and natural ability to handle and control large projects, multi-layered strategies, emergency situations, and rapidly changing environments was a complete cover-up for a deep, deep wound I call a “hole in my heart”.
I attached my value to the fact that I was able to handle stress with grace and ease.
I was proud to say I had worked in organizations that no one else would put up with, or for difficult people, or in a 24/7 industry during very stressful times. That was my strength, my special skill, it was how I defined who I was. And I craved those environments to feel good about myself. When I wasn’t “crazy busy”, my ego mind would push me into creating more chaos.
When my “down on my knees” moment came, I was overcome with a true knowing that there is a power greater than me.
In a moment, I surrendered my will and my life over to the care of that power (and I wasn’t even sure who/what that was!).
So I started to give up some of the “doings”. That meant I was giving up the thing that I had gathered all my value from. And, with no “doings” and “controlling” to cover up the hole in my heart, what was in there started bubbling up. And when it did, my ego mind would try to drag me back into more “doings” so I could generate some more false self-worth and cover up the hole.
Sometimes ego still wins. But mostly, the hole is exposed now…
And I like it that way.
That’s where the value of “inner work” really shows itself to me. My wellness practices support healing that hole in my heart.
From that place I’ve learned that it’s OK to just be me, that I am worthy just as I am, today, “warts and all”. Only from that place, can I share my true, authentic self with the world, see and hear divine guidance, take inspired action and step into being considerably HUGE!
So what do I mean by “inner work”?
For me, “inner work” is the practice of connecting to my spirit, my soul, my self in whatever way works for me.
My wellness practices gently lead me through my inner work that is slowly healing my heart.
Ellen Meredith, the author of Listening In Dialogues with the Wiser Self, confirms that many of us have a tendency to get cut off from spiritual nurturing and to obscure that “small still voice” within which can guide us. “There is no reason why your spiritual “practice” needs to be separate from the rest of your life”, she says.”There is no rule that says you must sit apart in pious reflection and prayer for several hours a day. In fact, the more you find ways to let the activities you do naturally resonate for you, the more likely you are to have a dynamic spiritual practice.”
My practice, or the method by which I complete my “inner work”, includes these four principal components:
1.Wisdom Walks
2.Affirmative Reading
3.Daily Journaling
4.Support from a mentor/coach/group
These simple practices are integrated now into my everyday existence. They don’t take a huge amount of time or special equipment and they can be done without a lot of expense.
Wisdom Walks: [Recommended frequency: Daily. 15 – 30 minutes]
Most spiritual guides incorporate some form of physical exercise into their plans for enlightenment. In addition to the health benefits, Wisdom Walks provide a time for me to connect with the power of nature and a reminder that I am grounded in source energy. Long before I grew comfortable writing in a journal, I began walking by myself on the beach, sharing my thoughts with the God of my choosing and asking for guidance.
“By the power of the wind, the waves and the sea,” I called. “God, please grant me clarity”.
I gathered treasures–symbols of my search for self and gifts from a God I was desperate to know.
And as I gained strength in the quiet of my aloneness, I began to hear and feel guidance.
Find a place to walk where you can engage all of your senses. Walk Alone.
Talk to your God. Gather treasures. Ask for guidance. Listen, and you will receive.
“Like an ability or a muscle, hearing your inner wisdom is strengthened by doing it.” –Robbie Gass
Affirmative Reading:
For years now, I have begun my day with a simple reading.
These readings come from daily meditation books like “The Language of Letting Go” and “Journey to the Heart”, by Melody Beattie, “Meditations for Women Who Do Too Much”, by Anne Wilson Schaef, and “Living Juicy- Daily Morsels for your Creative Soul”, by SARK, or from affirmation cards like Louise Hay’s “Power Thought Cards”.
Borrow one from a friend. See if it feels right for you, and then diligently read it each and every day. Over and over.
Buried under all of the negative messaging you have learned to believe is a quiet voice wanting to be heard. It is just waiting for you to re-discover the language of self-love you knew as a child.
In the beginning, affirmations were my primer for re-learning this new language.
Now, in a world full of negative messaging, affirmations serve to remind me to live in love first.
Recommended frequency: Daily as needed.
Journaling:
As I became more comfortable with my new voice, I learned to write it down.
Most call it journaling. Sandy Grason, in her book of the same name, called it a “Journalution”. Julia Cameron, the author of The Artist’s Way, recommends writing “Morning Pages”, and Heather Dominick, EnergyRich Success Coach, describes “Scripting” her days.
In the beginning, I couldn’t write my thoughts– it made me feel too vulnerable and that was too scary.
Now I know that this is the only way I found myself again.
Putting my voice on paper made it real and personal.
Putting my voice on paper gave it power.
Putting my voice on paper helped me to clarify the thoughts that became my guide to inspired action.
Putting my voice on paper gave me the confidence to reach out to you.
And, most importantly, putting my thoughts on paper continues to help me to move through fear, doubt, and negativity, when they show up.
Julia Cameron says she writes Morning Pages to “get to the other side: the other side of fear, of our negativity, of our moods. Above all, they get us beyond our Censor.”Find a book and a pen or pencil that feels good. Keep it in a safe place. Reach for it often, and begin without judgment. Just write. Even if you write “I don’t know what to write today”, begin the practice, and you will find comfort.Recommended frequency: Daily. 15 minutes — 45 minutes.
Support from a coach/mentor/support group:
As my thoughts became clearer, and that “small, still voice” within began to speak louder, having a coach/mentor or support group nearby provided me a filter that led me toward greater and faster clarity. I learned I was not alone.
Coaches of all specialties are available in every location and even remotely via teleclass and webinar. And low or no cost support groups, facilitated by volunteers, are available through most community centers and hospitals.
Find a friend who attends a regular 12 step meeting and goes with her.
Many of them are available for “clean” addictions (non-drug or alcohol related), like CoDa, which focuses on relationships and self-love. A small donation, $1 or $2, if you are able, is all that is expected here. Even if one-on-one coaching may seem out of your budget today, you can begin to experience the support in groups that usually have a minimal expense.
Don’t be afraid to reach out if you hear a message that resonates with you. Borrow books, go to the library. Trust that when you find a message that resonates with you, that is the message you are supposed to hear.
Stop searching and allow yourself to become immersed in the support that the message will bring.
For a long time, I continued to be so frightened by the awareness that I was gaining from the support of my chosen mentors that I kept running from group to group, keeping myself busy and distracted. As a result, my journey has been much longer than it needed to be.
Do the work without judgment. Be conscious of choosing friends who will encourage you to do the work, not just talk about it– over time, you will begin to know the difference very clearly.
Recommended frequency: Weekly at a minimum.
And in all of these practices, there is one constant– simply, I’ve learned to pay attention with an open mind. I’ve learned to believe.
Set skepticism aside and allow these simple practices to connect you to your inner guidance.
Nurture your soul by paying attention to the beauty of all that surrounds you.
Slow down. Get off the treadmill. Make the choice to discard everything that distracts you from paying attention to your true voice.
In The Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron writes: The quality of life is in proportion, always, to the capacity for delight. The capacity for delight is the gift of paying attention. The reward for attention is always healing.