When was the last time you hand wrote a thank you note?
Recently I had the pleasure of writing quite a few of them, and in the process, I had the thought that, like letter writing, the practice of writing thank you notes may be a dying art. Seriously, do any of you still own a copy of “Miss Manners”?
And when was the last time you saw a child gifted with a copy of “White Gloves and Party Manners”?
Let’s face it, most people don’t hand write anything these days. We email, we text, we pick up our cellphones, we even Skype. We communicate in all kinds of ways, but we just aren’t hand writing much of anything anymore.
What I know for sure, is nothing can replace for me the simple pleasure of receiving a well written thank you card. And, in today’s noisy, electronic world, a thoughtful card, with a few lines of “thanks” hand written inside, is a stand out symbol of caring and personal attention.
So, just in case you’ve forgotten how to write a thank you note, or you were never really taught, here’s the basic “how to”:
When Should You Write?
If someone took the time to give you a gift, you should take the time to write the person a note. Even in today’s world, this still holds true. Other times it is appropriate to write a note include any time someone goes “above and beyond” for you. In business, typical instances that should generate a note of “thanks”, include referring a client, initiating a joint venture, providing a resource, forwarding information of interest, even stimulating an “ah-hah” moment in a conversation.
Send your note as soon as possible after the courtesy is extended. And for all of you a procrastinator or just plain busy people, if time goes by, and you’re feeling embarrassed that it’s been too long…send the note anyway!
In addition to gifts, it is proper and appropriate to write a note when someone makes an extra effort on your behalf. Referring a client, suggesting a marketing strategy, hosting a meal, forwarding information of interest or even constructive criticism are all examples where a thank you note is appropriate. Your note should be sent as soon as possible after the courtesy is extended.
Lastly, randomly selecting a few clients or customers from your database every week to send notes to is a terrific idea. You’ll not only show your customer you care, you might jog his or her memory and you’ll definitely stand out from your competition. I am certain you can tell me who sent you your last hand written thank you note. Remember that expression – “People do business with people they know, like and trust”? Including thank you notes in your regular routine exponentially increases your know-like-trust factor!
What Should You Say?
Sincerity is the most important aspect in writing a thank you note. Your aim here is to let the recipient know why you loved the gift, or why you appreciated what they did.
First, greet the person you are thanking by name. Don’t start thinking you’re being casual by just saying “Hi”. The old- fashioned “Dear [first name]Jane”, works just fine.
Next, literally say “Thank you”. Examples might look like:
Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to meet with me. I sincerely appreciate your input on my business plan.
or
The gift of the winter sweater you selected for my birthday couldn’t have been more perfect. I love the color blue, and the style works well with all of my casual clothing. I really needed a new sweater, too.
When the gift is money, remember to share with the giver what you intend to do with the money. Everyone wants to know that you are putting their gift to good use.
Then say “Thanks again”, or “I am truly grateful” or “Your efforts are sincerely appreciated.” There is nothing wrong with repeating your thanks.
For the closing, use a simple, polite, heartfelt expression. Any of these standards will do: “With warm regards”, “With sincere Gratitude”, “Sincerely”, “All the best”, “Cordially”, “In friendship” or my favorite “Wishing you well”.
Then sign your name.
Let me emphasize here, that I began this post using the term “hand written” thank you note quite purposefully.
Nowadays many people are sending off quick email thank you’s, and if you have no alternative, then certainly that is better than no thank you at all. But I believe that a handwritten note is viewed as more sincere and much more appreciated than any other form.
And no, using “Send Out Cards”, though certainly convenient and feasible for certain types of note/card sending, doesn’t count as a “hand-written” note in my mind. Handwritten is the only way to write/send a proper thank you in my book. Call me old fashioned, but that’s how I feel. I received a thank you card generated from Send Out Cards yesterday, and though the sentiment was well intended, I just didn’t feel the same way I feel when I see that the sender hand wrote the note. Maybe I shouldn’t be saying that out loud, but it’s my truth…
Finally, send the card! As I write this I have a note on my desk waiting to be stamped and put in the mailbox. It’s been there for three days…
This last step, actually mailing the card may seem silly to mention, but I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s found cards in the bottom of her purse that I intended to send a week earlier.
Enjoy the process. Sharing and expressing gratitude is one of the most uplifting things we can do for ourselves and others.
So, I’m off to send a couple of hand-written thank you notes, with gratitude, to you, my readers.
Let me know how this goes for you, too.
Wishing you well–
P.S. I am a huge fan of one-of-a-kind cards created by local artisans. Using these cards you not only support a creative entrepreneur, you have a chance to really show your appreciation with a unique style, too.
I just wrote 3 thank you letters tonight. My friends mom is really crafty and sends me hand-made cards since I’ve started my business. Now, I send one to people for diff reasons ie. interviews, radio show guests, people who help with event converage, etc. It’s a nice heartfelt touch that truly represents my business and helps me stand out and continue to build relationships. Try it, its fun!
Shante’ H.
President, http://www.Sportspeacelove.com
I love that you’re using hand-made cards, Shante.
I’m sure the recipients of your heartfelt notes feel very special.
Wishing you well-
Nanette
Nanette, aloha. You are so right on the importance of writing thank you notes. Quite honestly, I enjoy both receiving them and sending them. As I am writing a note, I always think of the effort the person put into selecting my gift. Thinking of someone who knows me well enough to give me a gift always makes me smile.
Interestingly enough, a friend recently sent me a gift and, when I did not respond with a note, she finally asked if I had received the gift. I told her that I had not and that if I had I certainly would have sent her a note. She then said “that’s what I thought; it seemed so unlike you not to send a thank you note.” Nanette, that made me feel so good that people who know me, expect to receive a note from me.
Thank you for this important reminder and for the guidelines on what to put in a note. Now, Nanette, put a stamp on that thank you note and mail it.
Best wishes for a terrific week. Aloha. Janet
Janet-
I’m so glad to hear that you are already keeping up with this time honored tradition.
And yes, I did send that card Saturday afternoon 🙂
Wishing you well-
Nanette
Hi Nanette,
You are so right, it is a forgotten activity and while services like Send Out Cards have their place these still don’t replace good old fashioned hand written thank you notes.
I have to admit that I don’t send enough of these any more, only because it is easier to call, email or text, however it’s the effort that someone goes to when sending a personal thank you note that makes it special. One has to buy the cards, actually write the note, buy stamps and walk to to the mail box.
When someone has gone to this effort I notice it because most people don’t do this any more. It seems to me if one wants to distinguish oneself in any way then returning to this lost art is a great way of doing so.
Thanks for the reminder! 🙂
~Marcus
Glad I could remind you of this easy way to distinguish yourself, Marcus.
BTW- I get my cards at my favorite Creative Re-use Center. Almost everyone I know has a drawer full of cards they never use, too, so I bet you might even find one in your home somewhere if you look.
Wishing you well-
Nanette
Hi Nanette,
thanks for sharing this. I don’t really remember when I sent my last hand-written “Thank you” note, so I have definitely been guilty of relying too much on modern means of communications.
I second you on your advice to say “Thank you” even when it might be loo tate. It’s never too late, it’s only our bad conscience that tries to tell us that.
Take care
Oliver
Oliver,
I’m glad I could remind you of this simple pleasure.
Let me know when you’ve sent your first one 🙂
Nanette
Hi Nanette,
The last time I wrote a thank you note is, oh-my-gosh, about 8 or 9 years ago. I don’t know why I have stopped writing thank you notes-what I do do is thank the person over the phone, in person or in eMail.
Now that I am thinking about it, giving thank you notes is so much better, it has a sentimental feeling behind it.
Thanks for reminding us about on a long lost tradition.
Have a great day, Nanette.
~Tisha
My thoughts exactly, Tisha. I’m enjoying reminding myself of the joys of this long lost tradition, too.
Wishing you well-
Nanette
Nanette, what a great post! What I love about it is that you reminded me of notes I’ve sent, notes I received, and notes I might consider sending in the future.
One example is some things I am boxing up for someone. I hadn’t really thought about including a letter in the box, but now, I think I will.
Thanks for the inspiration!
Jeanine,
I’m so glad that my post has inspired you to include a personal note with your box of goodies.
Enjoy-
Nanette
Hi Nanette, I love this idea and it’s been a while since I have sent thank you cards. You are right when in a time where it’s all about emails and e-cards that a physical thank you card is something to be treasured. I think that there’s no reason to write a thank you card for only physical presents you receive but it would also be applicable to thank someone for their support, friendship and guidance. On top of that, handwriting the card would show your personal touch!
Diana,
You’re not alone sharing with me that it’s been a while since you wrote/sent a thank you card.
I’m glad I could inspire you to consider it again.
Wishing you well-
Nanette
Pingback: Celebrating Our Success: The Prove It Blog Challenge
Hmmm…interesting old tradition! How fast time flies!
I remember how happy I used to be when cards and handwritten notes were used to appreciate my efforts…down the years, it has now become mobile phones, facebook message and text messaging or even online chatting…
Thanks for reminding me of this techniques. I’m going to be sending out handwritten “thanks you note” to a friend that gave me a tasty dinner two nights ago!!!
Tim
I’m so glad I was a part of inspiring you to send a “thank you” to your friend, Tim. I’m sure your action will be much appreciated and remembered.
Wishing you well-
Nanette
Great points on writing and gratitude here.
Hi Nanette,
Thank you for reminding us the power of a Thank you note. I see my wife all the time writing Thank You notes to our clients. I’m going to write her a Thank You note for doing that. 🙂
Have a great day…
Josh
Hi Nanette,
Thank you notes are precious. But the last one I did was one of those good old days when I never had a laptop. With my laptop, I hardly write with a pen and a paper, so a hand-written note has become extinct to me. But I do alway write thank you emails and send thank you ecards.
Hope I am not being that bad.
Cheers,
Jane.
Great, great! I can relate well, and your insights are very true. 🙂 I used to do this every time I will give back what I have borrowed from someone and when someone made me smile and laugh out loud.. Surely, I will do this to my clients too. They truly deserved to be acknowledge. 🙂
Keep the smiles,
Lynne
Hi Nanette,
I am so guilty of not being able to hand write these days. Whenever I need to sign something, I feel like I don’t know how to write anymore. I think it will be much appreciated if we send a real note of gratitude, not just a thank you text message or email. Our sincerity will be much felt if we handwrite the note. 🙂
You are so right, Ira.
I know I appreciate the sincerity as a receiver of a handwritten note.
Wishing you well-
Nanette
Pingback: The Lost Art of Writing Thank You Notes « mariettamomma
Telling someone a simple "Thank You" means a lot. How much more if they received a thank you note? For me, it's a very touching way of showing gratitude to someone. Receiving a simple thank you is a big thing, you can feel the real happiness thinking that you did a great favor to someone.
I really had to share this particular posting, “The Lost Art of Writing Thank You Notes | Nanette Saylor’s The Wise Well Woman’s Way” along with my
personal good friends on twitter. I actuallybasically planned to pass on ur wonderful writing!
Thx, Weldon