The BIG O: Secrets of a Stress Junkie Revealed

The BIG O was ruling and ruining my life. I was overwhelmed. Then, one day, I made a commitment to myself – I committed to change. 

I’ve learned that life mastery is all about self-discovery. I uncover my truths through a daily practice, a ritual. It helps me reveal my deepest secrets, relieve stress and deal with them in a healthy and productive way.

I used to be preoccupied and distracted by what I now call “The Big O”. Sometimes, I was even paralyzed by it. Yet, I continued to feed my desire with more and more, oblivious to the consequences.

To the outside world, everything appeared to be “just fine”. But, behind closed doors, my life was chaotic, spinning completely and horribly out of control.

No, I’m not a sex addict. The BIG O I craved was not a sexual release.

I lived in a constant state of overwhelm, stress and struggle. Doing too much was my drug of choice. That was my BIG O.

I am a recovering stress junkie. I was addicted to stress. 

There was a time when I only knew how to function in a state of high alert and extreme stress, and I had no idea how to stop. The thought of slowing down, or simply pausing for a moment, sent me into a panic. I couldn’t possibly take a break, considering all the things I was responsible for. I was an Executive. I was on five Boards. I had a family. Who would handle all that? And, if I wasn’t doing all that, who would I be?

So, I didn’t… until the day came that my teenage daughter, a drug addict, nearly died. 

At that moment, somehow I understood that my most important task was not to push harder to try to “fix” this. I had to change and commit to it.

Instead, my most important task was to to love first, no matter what, and let go of my need to do too much. I had to begin the process of learning to live in a new way.

I committed to a new way of being. Little by little, one baby step at a time, I began to change my life. Over time, I discovered that the most important thing I can do for myself, and others, is to begin my day with a morning ritual that includes journaling and intention setting. This daily practice is my stress relief.

Today, I support other people like me to do the same through classes, workshops, writing, and coaching. This simple self-care practice is life-changing .

I’ve learned that when I describe myself as feeling overwhelmed today, it’s usually caused by one of four conditions that can be remedied with some attention and focus.

I’m over-scheduled,
I’m overcommitted,
I’m over-my-head,
or I’m over-preparing.

When I journal, I ask and answer tough questions. By being honest with myself, I can usually see that I have created the condition that is causing my anxiety. My secrets are revealed.

I see that I over-schedule, squeezing too many things into my available time, when I haven’t taken the time to prepare for my day, week or month. If I systematically reviewed my calendar and realistically slotted activities into time periods that are adequate, this wouldn’t happen.

I overcommit when I’m not practicing saying “NO” and reinforcing living with integrity. I can choose differently and honor my personal decisions to maintain time for the things that matter to me as a priority.

I’m over-my-head when I take on new projects in areas outside of my expertise to stretch into new experiences. Stretching is healthy. When I  don’t ask for help when I need it, that’s not healthy.

Lastly, I over-prepared, when I allowed the voice of my Inner Critic to speak louder than my Inner Wisdom because I’m not giving enough attention to my morning ritual. My Inner Critic encourages me to prepare unnecessarily for every possible negative outcome.

If you were to consider what may be causing your sense of overwhelm, which one of these four conditions is existing for you?

Are you over-scheduling, overcommitting, or over-preparing? Or, have you tried to take on more than you’re ready for, and find yourself over-your-head?

Over time I learned that the state of overwhelm I existed in was simply my way avoiding things I didn’t want to see. Staying busy all the time gave me so much to do that I couldn’t possibly give attention to what was falling apart behind the scenes.

When I created a self-care practice that included a daily ritual, I began to change my life. 

I learned to let go and started making room for things that matter. The most beautiful by-product of all, is that my daughter began to change her life, too, and now, many years later, she is an inspiring adult living in long-term recovery.

I gained courage through this practice. Each day I am guided from personal awareness to a fuller understanding of who I want to be in the world and how I choose to serve others. With greater confidence, I choose new deliberate actions and take steps toward them every day.

It is this daily practice that made it possible for me to release “the BIG O” and simply be in alignment with my authentic self. It is this practice that creates the container for my biggest dreams and supports me to move toward them with clarity and confidence.

You can begin to create a self-care practice, too, simply by making a commitment to change right now.

That’s what I call Baby Step #1- Commit to Change. And, if you follow my lead, your self-care practice will be eeeeeaaaaaaaaasssssssyyyyy. The next step is just as simple. Baby Step #2 = Breathe. Stop, take a deep breath, then another and another. Three is the magic number. Then, in Baby Step #3, you begin to Choose Each Day and support your commitment to daily actions.

Start with a commitment to eliminate one item from your to-do list. Pick one and let it go. Ask your Inner Wisdom for guidance, listen for the answer, gather up your courage and say “no” to one thing.

If you would like to learn more about my easy morning practice, click here: Stop Overwhelm, Now . It’s designed to help you stop being a slave to “the BIG O”. You’ll shift toward living with more ease, more peace and more joy in your life, I promise. (And it’s free to get started — my gift to you.) 

Give it a try and then let me know how it works for you in the comments below. I welcome your questions, too. Send me an email at nanette@wisewellwomen.com — no question is too small or too silly.

I wish you well!

 

P.S. I first wrote this post years ago. I’ve updated the writing a bit. The practice itself- and my commitment to it– has remained the same. The “Big O” has been replaced by ease, joy and freedom! I hope you’ll join me. It is possible. In my heart I know that I am here to support anyone who wants to make this shift, too. If that’s you, please contact me.